Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world about him. – Virginia SatirHow do you typically communicate? Is it through words, gestures, emotions, thoughts, desires, needs, truths, direct perception or intuition? Do you focus more on the other person or on yourself? Do you typically tell, ask or listen?

For a few days, set an intention to be aware of your communication styles and skills. After you’ve spent some time talking with someone, reflect on what your underlying motives were and what level of depth you reached. Write your insights in your journal.

This exercise will help you become more aware and conscious of who you are and why you do what you do.

“We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversation with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.” – Thomas Moore

“You must speak straight so that your words may go as sunlight to our hearts.” – Cochise

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read straight through, and you’ll get the lesson.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Was that Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care