Do you listen or do you hear? Is there a difference?

Well from a technical point of the the process of hearing is a physiological act, the ear drums engage in the noises coming to it and the brain interprets the sounds. Listening is actually engaging psychologically to what is coming to you and requires more concentration of the mind.

In order to help us with understanding how we can improve our listening skills, below is how Steve Covey defines the 5 Levels of Listening

5 Levels of Listening

1. Empathic Listening – Listening/responding with both the heart and mind to understand the speaker’s words intent and feelings. Listen for what is not being said
2. Attentive Listening – Paying attention, focusing on the speaker’s words/comparing to your own experiences
3. Selective Listening – Hearing only what interests you
4. Pretend – Giving the appearance of listening
5. Ignore – No effort to listen

By developing our listening skills allows us to communicate better and no decide what we are going to say before we truly listen to hear to what is being said.

In business the skill of listening is under-rated. Managers who want to develop their coaching skills, will relise that one of the first skill to acquire is listening. This can sometimes be quite strange, because on the surface it looks like doing nothing, however increasing your listening skills to level 4 or 5 as stated above takes a lot of doing.

The challenge to improve your skills, is to be patient. It will take time and practice. A few things you can do

1. Next time you are having a conversation, whether business or social, truly absorb what is being said and leave a second or two gap before you respond
2. If you find yourself thinking about what you are going to say while the other person is talking, stop yourself and re-engage
3. When responding ask a question that allows the other person to continue, it will make them feel good and they in turn subconsciously will want to listen to you

Try this out, the key is practice and to see how your own communication improves as well as how others start to respond to you.